Parti Hampir Mati
We the rakyat hereby announce the establishment of Parti Hampir Mati (PHM).
Parti Hampir Mati is a multi-everything party that aims to bring development to all Malaysians without taking into account race, religion, geography, or political affiliation. Unlike the Human Rights Party, Parti Cinta Malaysia, and all our independent-but-BN-friendly Members of Parliament, we will never support either the BN or Pakatan Rakyat. Cross our hearts, hope to die.
We are the true third force, the voice of the rakyat!
Our manifesto is simple: we believe in the superior ability of the old and sedang nazaks to berkhidmat kepada negara. We think that no matter how young or smart or brilliant or rich one is, being old and nazak is still the best way to serve our country – and this is why we will only nominate hampir matis as electoral candidates in our quest for a better Malaysia.
Why is this so? Because we believe that the death of a hampir-mati YB (astaghfirullah) is the best thing that can ever happen to any constituency. It is the jackpot of all politics – and Parti Hampir Mati is here to ensure that more and more of our deserving populace enjoy this nikmat.