I <3 NYC

H&M Jacket: $70

White Dress Shoes: $10

Black Boots: $50

Walking into a Unification Church (of mass marriage fame) Sunday service (with so many hot hapas);

Witnessing white guys fumble Korean names and extol the virtues of the True Parents and True Children;

Listening to a financial report about the church’s investment arm (“The South Korean church is now financially self-sufficient”); and

Leaving with a souvenir (“Kidnapping, Confinement, and Forced Conversion: A Hidden Human Rights Abuse in Japan” — link):

Priceless

Parti Hampir Mati

Parti Hampir Mati

Manifesto

We the rakyat hereby announce the establishment of Parti Hampir Mati (PHM).

Parti Hampir Mati is a multi-everything party that aims to bring development to all Malaysians without taking into account race, religion, geography, or political affiliation. Unlike the Human Rights Party, Parti Cinta Malaysia, and all our independent-but-BN-friendly Members of Parliament, we will never support either the BN or Pakatan Rakyat. Cross our hearts, hope to die.

We are the true third force, the voice of the rakyat!

Our manifesto is simple: we believe in the superior ability of the old and sedang nazaks to berkhidmat kepada negara. We think that no matter how young or smart or brilliant or rich one is, being old and nazak is still the best way to serve our country – and this is why we will only nominate hampir matis as electoral candidates in our quest for a better Malaysia.

Why is this so? Because we believe that the death of a hampir-mati YB (astaghfirullah) is the best thing that can ever happen to any constituency. It is the jackpot of all politics – and Parti Hampir Mati is here to ensure that more and more of our deserving populace enjoy this nikmat.

What Would Zaid Hold?

is genius.

read (1), visit (2), and join the movement (3)

还珠格格

So today I got really mad.

I was watching a rerun of 还珠格格 (huan2 zhu1 ge2 ge) on NTV7. You know — the series with 赵薇 (zhao4 wei1) as 小燕子 (xiao3 yan4 zi) and 苏有朋 (su1 you3 peng2) as 五阿哥 (wu3 a4 ge1) that all of us watched every single day ten years ago. /wink. Part of our childhoods.

One part of the episode was about 含香 (han2 xiang1), a Xinjiang princess given to the Emperor as a concubine by her father (ugh). Han Xiang was all about oh I’ve to maintain my purity because my religion demands it: please stop pestering me to sleep with you; the Emperor was like oh since you’re so persistent hokay you win: you get to keep your virginity yaaaay.

And shortly after that, when Han Xiang was thanking the Emperor profusely, as only Asians can do, the audio was cut off. My immediate reaction was wtfbbq stupid Malaysian network, but then I read the subtitles. Han Xiang was giving thanks to 阿拉 (Allah/ﷲ) for the Emperor’s magnanimity.

So the Malaysian censorship board decided to cut out Allah, in Chinese, from a soap opera! Thanks, Rais!

The stupidest thing is that Han Xiang is Muslim. Now what — Chinese Muslims cannot say Allah ah? Fret not, Mr. Censor: the Christians/Jews aren’t out to convert gullible young Muslims by slipping in the sacred kalimah in an imperial Chinese drama made ten years ago. The Xinjiang princess is ethnically 回 (hui2) and was mumbling a bona fide prayer (doa/دعاء) of thanks (ash-shukr/الشكر) to the God of Islam.

So yeah, again, the same rant applies. Tell me why (li-madha/لماذا) the hell (jahannam/جهنم) do we have a censorship board, and what (madha/ماذا) the hell (jahannam/جهنم) they are doing meddling in what gets said in a soap opera. This is really weird because I’m angrier at this than at their antics at censoring the kissing/fondling scenes in movies.

Let me pray for once: audhu billah min al-ghabi/أعوذ بالله من الغبي/O Lord, keep me from idiots.

黑色幽默

On the mengwtfkan pig head issue:

On plurk:

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Edited 9 pm, 27th Jan 2010

Dude she stole my idea! (Look at the time!)

T__________T